Splurgoth Paradise

By: GoldenH
Created: May 30, 2000

To the tune of "Gangsta's Paradise", but "Amish Paradise" is closer.. go grab the mp3 and sing along!

As I walk through the world where I harvest my pain
I took a look at my wife and realise she's quite profane
but that's just perfect for an Splurgoth like me
You know I shun pleasant things like humility.
At 4:30 in the morning I'm takin' gals
Jebediah feeds the fighters and Jacob chows... fool
And I've been stealin' and killin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a thing of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a scepter in my hand and a arm on my chin
But if I finish my fun and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 9099

We've been spending most our lives
Living in an Splurgoth paradise
I've churned players once or twice
Living in an Splurgoth paradise
It's hard work and sarcrifice
Living in an Splurgoth paradise
We sell guns at retail price
Living in an Splurgoth paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's fighting in hell
But I've ever ate a tourist if he really deserved it
An Splurgoth with no 'tude? You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got some mad fat
And my homies agree I really look good in that
If you come to visit, you'll be moved to tears
We haven't had a main course in 300 beers
But we ain't really bad, so please don't point and stare
We're just mannerallery impaired

There's no life, no fun, no food or drink
Not a single luxury
Unlike Robinson Caruso
It's as advanced as can be

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Splurgoth paradise
We're just dangerous and hungry guys
Living in an Splurgoth paradise
There's always time for sin and vice
Living in an Splurgoth paradise
We don't fight, we obliterate
Living in an Splurgoth paradise

Hitchin' up the spaceship, growin' lots of blubber
Raised a army Monday, soon I'll raise another
Think you're really evil?
 Think you're black in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million times
 as horrid as thou art
I'm the evil guy that the Old Ones wanna be like
On my knees day and night
 stealin' points for the everlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get
 medieval on your heinie.

We been spending most our lives
living in an Splurgoth paradise
We're just love to terrorize
Living in an Splurgoth paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Living in an Splurgoth paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Living in an Splurgoth paradise

Splurgoth_Paradise.php -- Revised: January 27, 2021.